Sure we’re in the middle of a historically close presidential primary and one of the world’s most infamous dictators just stepped down, but there are some big things happening out on the Pacific Ocean today. Really big things. Like shooting a freaking satellite out of orbit with a missile from a navy cruiser type big things. Yes, that is correct. As I am typing this CNN is reporting that the navy is “watching the sea and sky Wednesday waiting for perfect conditions to take a kill shot on an errant satellite 150 miles above them.” Wait, what? They are going to shoot a missile 150 miles into our atmosphere to shoot down a satellite? In the words of Larry David: “are you fucking nuts?”
Here’s the deal. In December, 2006 the United States launched a satellite that immediately malfunctioned and thus never made it into orbit. In other words, it’s falling towards earth, quickly. So, the government wants to blow it out of the sky before it could potentially hit earth carrying over a thousand pounds of unspent fuel. We’re talking potential for catastrophic damage here: complete extinction of every animal known to mankind including ourselves. Just kidding of course. Apparently worst case scenario is if the satellite even does fall to earth, which is certainly not a given, it would cause destruction of an area roughly the size of two football fields. To avoid the 200 yard crater scenario they’re going to blow it up in an attempt to break it into small enough pieces so it will simply burn up in our atmosphere. Sounds like a plan.
But there’s a catch. Isn’t there always? Some experts are wondering what the motivation for taking this shot really is. A few years back the Chinese space program was forced to shoot down an old weather satellite that was in danger of meeting a similar fate. Is the United States really worried that this satellite would cause so much destruction, or are they simply spending a hundred million dollars to prove that we can compete with the Chinese? I personally think that’s the dumbest theory I’ve ever heard. Apparently there is a ten second window every day for the next two weeks or so during which they will be able to launch the missile, so cross your fingers and say goodbye to your loved ones. Or email CNN and ask them why this is their cover story when no one really cares anyway.
-Ritt
UPDATE: We did it! We’re going to be OK! CNN is reporting that the USS Erie has successfully shot down everyone’s favorite rogue satellite. The way they did it is actually pretty awesome. The missile was not loaded with any sort of explosives and simply relied on the force of the impact to blow the satellite to pieces. I guess a missile moving aa 5,000 MPH colliding with a satellite moving 17,000 MPH can create quite a bang.
Goddamn Chinamen. That’s right Chi, I said it.
Even if there is a space program build-up, China and the US ain’t going to war anytime soon, much less even a Cold War II. Look at Wal-mart, the symbol of the billions of dollars traded between the 2 countries everyday.
These showoffs of military prowess are all a matter of perspective. Back in ’89 the US shot down a satellite with an air-to-air missile that was launched from a plane at 80000 feet. Thus, this isn’t the first time the US shot down something in space. However, from sea level is an impressive show of engineering/money, and perhaps we’ve been waiting to say, “yeah we could already do that” but wanted to watch someone else (in this case, the Chinese) do it first. Who knows – it’s all a game. Personally, I’m surprised the US didn’t go balls out and use some of that new laser technology that’s been a sink for tax dollars for almost 30 years now. Maybe they’re not powerful enough yet, but if a pulse laser can take out a cruise missile, why not use a few pulses (or multiple lasers) to break up a satellite with perfect accuracy?
Our college campus EMT Squad had an impromptu e-mail sent to them from the US government telling them what to do if the satellite crashed towards our campus….”Get everyone out of it’s way and evacuate the campus.” Really? Honestly? Does the government need to tell me to run the hell out of the way when a satellite is crashing towards me?