In 1996 Dunstin checked in to the tune of 18 million dollars in the box office (I can’t believe so many people went to see a movie about a monkey at a hotel with Jason Alexander), unfortunately I don’t think Kirsten will be getting paid for her stay at the Cirque Lodge, an addiction treatment facility in Utah conveniently located right by the Sundance festival. A week after partying a bit too hard at Sundance Miss Dunst was admitted to the Cirque Lodge desperately seeking help. Kirsten isn’t the first famed fatale to check into this place. In fact, Eva Mendes is already there and our favorite drugged up teenage girl Lindsay Lohan spent last summer for her substance (cough cough… crack) abuse problems. Apparently her “crew” of friends thinks Lindsey is doing great now, so maybe this Cirque Lodge really is all it’s cracked up to be. Being that my girl Mary-Jane is gonna be spending some time there I decided I’d investigate; only the best for Spidey’s lady.
Now I know celebrities’ lives can be hard; one need not look far to see a drug crazed nutso celebrity these days, but come on. If you really can’t stop blowing coke you can head up to good old Cirque Lodge where you can enjoy the mountain air, ditch the paparazzi for a while, ride a horse through some rivers, pick some corn (getting back to your roots) and take a ride in a helicopter (or so the picture would have you believe). Most importantly you can sit around with other celebrities and bitch about how hard your rich expensive dream lifestyle is and run down all the drugs you’ve taken that the common man can’t afford. It’s a great time guaranteed. For all you drugged out celebrities out there ready to snap, but haven’t quite made headlines yet by running naked through a crowded street screaming “I am a Jedi,” I suggest you head out to Utah for some R & R. You deserve it.
- Rich
you did NOT just write an article on celebrities and their drug habits…
I missed my one and only opportunity to hook up with a famous drugged up hoe…you’ll forgive me for my lack of excitement. I’m glad I didn’t see her at Sundance, I’d have told her to get to an orthodontist before her fang gets caught in spidey’s spandex. See you tomorrow