The Trifecta

Sorry I haven’t updated in a while… something called school sort of got in the way. Anywho, after finishing my schoolwork I decided it was time for me to make my latest contribution to the Trifecta. This post is going to be about futbol, or for our American readers, about soccer. There are two things you should know before reading this post. First, if you haven’t watched a fair amount of soccer there is a good chance you’re not going to understand the relevancy of anything that I wrote in this post. Secondly, I firmly believe that soccer is the single most important sport in the world. Notice I certainly did not say my favorite; I said the most important. I know America has its superstars but the only one with legitimate global influence is Tiger Woods. You may argue that stars like Lebron and Kobe have some global power but they don’t even compare to players like Ronaldinho and Cristiano Ronaldo (perhaps the most talented athlete on the planet).

However, the reason for writing this post has nothing to do with star power, or the popularity of soccer, it’s all about the rules. Of all the major sports in the world: basketball, baseball, rugby, tennis, etc. soccer is the only one with serious flaws in the basic rules of the game. I believe that with three simple amendments, they could make the game more legitimate and more enjoyable to watch. Here we go.

Rule change #1: The penalty kick

The penalty mark is simply too close to the goal. It’s not fair. At all. What percentage of penalty kicks result in goals? 90%? 95%? I couldn’t find any sort of statistics on this but it has to be somewhere around there. Essentially, as long as a player does not kick the ball over the crossbar or directly at the goalie, they will score. That’s just the way it is in soccer. The goalie guesses a direction and dives. More often than not they are wrong and the goal is scored, or if they even do manage to guess correctly they still usually can’t come up with the save. Absurd. In a game that puts such a premium on scoring just one goal, how can you hand a team a point so easily? If you are a soccer watcher, how many questionable calls have you seen made in the box that gave teams penalty kicks? With only one referee trying to cover a 120 yard field and line judges that are trying to make calls at terrible angles, too many calls are botched.

Watch this video and tell me you disagree. This was a World Cup game! Decided because a referee was not able to get in a good position to make a call. Actually, it may be a foul, but a foul worth giving Italy a game winning penalty kick in the 93rd minute? I think not. By the way, for those who are not soccer fans Italy went on the win the World Cup.

Solution: Move the penalty kick spot back. Way back. Find a spot where the player would make perhaps 65-70% of penalty kicks taken. This brings me to my next problem.

Rule change #2: Get the damn ref some help!

Ok, lets look at this one statistically. An NBA court is 4,700 square feet (take my word for it, I did the math myself). An average sized international soccer pitch is about 67,500 square feet. How many refs are there for a basketball game? 3. How many refs are there for a soccer game? 3 (one on the field and one on each sideline. Please don’t write a comment that there is a fourth official, I know there is but he doesn’t actually do anything while the game is in progress). Does this make any sense?

Solution: Add another referee. (I am also an advocate of adding instant replay on the goal line for questionable goals, but I will not give that its own category). Having a referee in a better position can only help to make the calls more accurate. After all isn’t that what refereeing all boils down to? Getting the calls right.

Rule change #3: The clock.

This one has been a thorn in my side ever since I started complaining to people about the shortcomings of soccer. Have you ever watched the last ten minutes of a soccer game where one goal made the difference? How many times have you seen this happen? Ball goes out of play for a goal kick for the leading team. Goalie walks over to the ball, accidentally kicks it trying to pick it up, walks over to the ball, picks up the ball, walks back onto the field, sets up the ball, calls over another player to talk about their lunch plans for the following day, and then, two minutes later, puts the ball back in play. I’m seriously not exaggerating, except for the lunch part of course. Or what about this scenario: A team is leading by one goal with five minutes to play. There is a soft foul and play is stopped. Instead of getting up and continuing play, the players roll around like they have just been stabbed in the throat. Clearly they are not hurt. The training crew comes on and sprays some sort of nonsense on their “injury”; they get up, and continue to run at full speed. However, a full minute or two has been taken of the clock.

Solution: Stop the damn clock when the ball goes out of play! It works for every other sport. Start the clock at 45 minutes and count down like a normal sport and stop the clock when play stops! Don’t give me that mumbo jumbo about disturbing the flow of the game. The players wouldn’t even know the clock was stopping and restarting, they would still just play. Then, players wouldn’t pretend they were hurt, or stall for time at the end of the game. Several people have responded with, “well, don’t be down by one with ten minutes left.” I’m sorry, this is not a relevant argument. Soccer is a 90 minute game and thus, there should be 90 minutes of play. Then we could also get rid of injury time, perhaps the dumbest thing in all of professional sports. When the game is over, its over. Not at some arbitrary time that the referee decides.

I hope that it doesn’t appear that I am ripping soccer with reckless abandon. I love soccer. I watch whenever there is a good game on. Also, as Clinton was kind enough to remind me, the officiating was “uniquely awful” this past world cup. Soccer is certainly the most beautiful of all the major sports (if you disagree just watch this Cristiano Ronaldo highlight clip). However, when players act hurt, dive, stall, and are given penalty kicks on soft fouls it ruins the world’s most popular sport. FIFA, I implore you! Make these changes! Maybe name one after me? You could call the second referee the “Ritterman Referee”. That has a nice ring to it.

- Dan